Jan 03 2009
Searching
Change is not easy. When you are used to worrying about the worst thinking positive is scary. I have read many books on positive thinking and it makes sense that your thoughts control your world more than your circumstances. There is an old cliche that sums it up ” 10% of life is what happens to you, 90% of your life is reaction to it” So controlling your thoughts and reactions must be the secret to having peace and happiness day to day. Lately everything I read says, if you want to be thin, believe you already are, if you want to have money, believe you already have it, if you want to quit smoking, believe you are a non-smoker already ( even if you are having a puff right now). So in these last few days I keep telling myself everything is what I want it to be already. But I worry that nothing will change if I don’t take action, if I don’t have a desire to change it and the reality is not what I am telling myself. So there seems to be a fine line between positive thinking and delusional thinking. I mean if I believe I am rich but don’t have the money to pay the electric bill am I thinking positively or delusionally? If I am 30 pounds overweight and telling myself I am thin am I a positive thinker, or a delusional lunatic? I do believe anything is possible, but I just can’t seem to find the simple faith required to believe that just wanting something to be so will make it so. What really blows my mind is the stories I read about people who claim they just wished things into being by having faith and belief, because I want that to be so…maybe my husband is right, maybe I just over-think everything and that is why all this believe without seeing philosophy is so hard for me to apply. I have a pragmatic nature, an empirical side that needs to know how something works and so I can’t seem to let go and just believe that believing will make all my dreams come true and all my troubles disappear. By the way, in light of all the suffering and misery that fill the world my life is pretty good and I have nothing to complain about, and that makes it even harder to live inside my own head. Because really, I am rich beyond materialism, I am thin( well it depends on how you classify thin I guess), I am healthy( well I can breathe on my own and walk and talk and type) etc… most of all I am blessed with family and I am so great-full for all that I do have, so I will keep working on the gratitude thing and the positive thinking thing, and the search for peace, happiness and fullfilment and maybe just maybe it will all materialize like I have been reading about. There is one thing I know for sure I am not capable of giving up. I know that as long as I breathe I will keep looking for the answers to all these questions.
